If you're reading this text, then you've most likely stumbled upon my journal, and this intro post (YAYZ!)
Either that or you're my brother or someshithead hacking into my computer. If you're the latter then GTFO, I'M TRYNNA MAKE AN ENTRANCE HERE BITCH. AND I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS GONNA WORK AND ALL THAT. LET'S PRAY IT DOES. OR I'LL THROW AN INFANT AT YOU
So, let's get right down to it, shall we?

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So as some of ya'll probably know (and don't give a shit too much) I went to a con today dressed as Kenny. It was....well I was killed a couple times, so it was to be expected. I let my inner Kenny out and he uh. He molested everyone. With his hands and his words. And his penis. I thought about humping a potted plant too (only like...three of you darlings will get the just of the potted plant abuse) but didn't want to be kicked out so I declined my urges and held in my pee all day. Yeah. Uhm so we got there, fucked around and took pictures, bought some shit, fucked around some more, went and got food at burger king, walked back, fucked around outside, played truth or dare with a shitton of other cosplayers, went inside, fucked around some more, went to Vic M's pannel, fucked around a tad more, and then left. Uneventuful, right? So below are the only pictures I have determined don't dipict me looking constipated. Here ya go.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-hxlV9IGLY
You should maybe go there and watch. Especially if you're Norikumi.

The former assistent teacher/slave in leather assless chaps rolled the condom over the banana and gently pressed the tip into the center of the doughnut, then turned back to his pupils and grinned triumphantly.
"And that's how you properly put a condom on, boys!"

Kenny promptly burst out laughing.
Craig was less than amused,he merely crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, ignoring the heat rising to his cheeks. "Shut the fuck up, Kenny."

Mr. Slave furrowed his brow, hands planted on his hips, and frowned at the obvious display of mockery to his explanation. "What is exactly so funny about proper safety during intercourse, young man? You need to know these kinds of things before you do it! Jeeeesus christ!

The dirty blond sat upright, giggles spilling past his lips, and finally managed to reply, "But Mr. Slave, I know alllll about proper condom usage, cuz-"
Craig swiftly clapped his hand over the blonds mouth, saving his own homo-ness. "We learned that in fourth grade."

Mr. Slave tapped an index finger against his chin and nodded. "Ohh riiiiight! I remember. The little girls made a fort and freaked out." He turned back to the very intimate love affair between the banana and the doughnut. "Well boys, is there anything else you want to know?"

Kenny took that opportunity to slather his tongue against Craig's palm, enough so that the other boy jerked away with a yelp. "Argh, Kenny you little fuck! That's sick!"

Kenny rolled his eyes and licked his lips. "Babe you've had way worse than my spit on your hands..." He fixed his attention on the bemused former assistant teacher. "I have a question, Mr. Slave."

Mr. Slave leaned in eagerly, an eyebrow cocked. "Yeah hon?"

"Now that you're done and all, can I have that stuff?" The blond pointed to the banana-on-doughnut affair.

"The doughnut or the banana?"

"All three."

"A-all....the condom too? Damn you work fast, hon."

"Whatever it is you're planning can just fuck off. I'm not getting involved."

"Aw but Craggers....its a banana flavored condom."

"Ha. Ha. You're so fucking clever."

"Downright charming, babe, charming."

"Charming my ass."

"Why yes, I'm glad you agree I DO charm your ass daily."

"Tch. Shut up and get the goddamn stuff."

"I knew you'd see it my way."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kenny,
That definitely wasn't banana flavored. Guess you won't know that now, having choked on my cock and all. Oh well. Same time next week?
-Craig
P.S You left something here. Besides your dead body. Yeah, its your hoodie. Come and get it, hoe.

"In a hypothetical sense only: What if I were to say I think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on two legs?"

"Then I would swifty reply with something along the lines of shut your fucking anime tenticle porn loving mouth,"

"I don't like tenticle porn-"

"and pull your cock out of my ass this instant, cause I won't stand for this kind of shit."

"Oh Matty, you break my heart."

"You gettin' soft, baldy?"

Unabashed stare down to where they were joined as one. "I am neither soft nor bald."

"I wasn't....sigh. Whatever. Just shut your pie hole and do me."

"Heh, I thought you'd never ask. Ohhhh Matty, Matty, Matty. You're so-"

"Ah, l-less talking more... fucking, asshole. The old man's gonna be home with my brother an-nnn, any time now!"

"So THAT'S why you pushed me out of your window."

"That's not exactly why."

("Matt's room is upstairs, second door on the left. Why don't you go get him?"
"Alright.")

"Hey Matt, long time no- OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

One pair of eyes was wide in horror, while the two others were clouded with lust and aggravation. And embarassment.

"Fuck."

"Well at least now you don't have to worry about getting off on the wrong foot. Just the wrong position: on your knees."

Smack.

"OW! I was just saying!"

"Yeah, and I'M just saying I should have locked the fucking window the second I saw your leering, smug face, like some sort of...of ghoul!"

"Psh, you couldn't resist my charm."

"Charm my ass. Now get the fuck off me so I can go clear things up with Drew. Poor little shits probably traumatized."

Swat. "Ohh yeah, I charmed your ass alright......ACK! STOP DOING THAT!"

"THEN STOP BEING A FUCKING DICK AND PULL OUT ALREADY!"

"You are what you eat."

"..........OUT. NOW."

"Tch, FIIIIIIINE." A rustling of clothing, the window is hoisted open. "So, same time next we- DAMMIT! THAT HURT! Was that a....a filter for a fish tank???"

"Yes, yes it WAS Tony. Which equates to GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY."

"Hmph, why do I put up with your shit...Oh yeah, I love- FINE I'M GOING, I'M GOING, SEE? I AM HALFWAY OUT THE WINDOW, STOP THROWING STUFF AT ME OR YOU'LL KILL ME!"

"If only wishes were that simple...."

"Cooper, buddy, please stop crying on the furniture. The old man'll be pissed if he finds questionable stains on the couch. Again."

"N-No one caaaaaaaaaaaares about me!"

"Quit bitching! I obviously care since I didn't slam the goddamn door in your face the second I saw you."

Sniffle. Whine. Whimper. "Well yeah YOU care, but no one else dooooooeeess! No one wants to be my boyfriend! Or girlfriend!"

"Maybe if you grew a pair you'd have a better chance....woke up with a killer hangover, there's nothin in the fridge, and to top it off the blubbering brat shows up. What an awesome start to my day..."

"IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN GET A BOYFRIEND, WHY CAN'T I?!"

"HEY. Hey. .....Tony is NOT my boyfriend. We just fuck around. Literally."

"Dude, I'm not in the mood to stomach your 'sexy' escapades right now...I gotta solve the current problem in my pants."

"If you're that desperate, why don't you call Sydney up."

"Are you out of your butt pounding mind?! What could possibly possess me to ask that BEAST out?"

"Your dick. That's what."

"......Fucking A."

"Yup, the things you do for your closest and most valuable friend. V.I.P, if you will."

"....Most valuable person??"

"Most valuable pee pee, my friend."

"Kay, So what's ailing you this time, babe?"

"Look Mandi, just cause you're a shrink doesn't mean you're MY shrink. I don't need you to try and solve my problems for me."

"That's true, I'm not stealing loads of your cash every weekly session. You should be GREATFUL I'm listening to you. So go ahead, lets hear it."

"....Man, fuck you, I don't need this shit..."

"Ah ah ah, if you dont sit back down right now I'll tell Tony something's wrong with you. And you know what he'll do..."

"....Dammit. Fine. Andrew's coming to live with me and the old man for the summer."

"Andrew? As in your little brother Andrew? Like, the last time you saw him he was four, Andrew? That one?"

"Well I don't know, Mandi, I've only got one brother, and his name is Andrew, so I suppose this could be the same person."

"Don't be a dick."

"Aha, funny you shou-"

"Ignoring that and moving along- how do you feel about all this?"

"Dude, 'm fucking....I don't even know. Its been nine years. Change sucks ass....I bet he doesn't even like Chowder anymore."

"He's still your brother, and he still loves you."

"Yeah, well here's to hoping he's not some angsty little shit. Or a chickenshit. Or an asshole."

"You're pretty much just described yourself."

"Only when I've been drinking, princess."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Anyway....I wouldn't worry too much about it. Not until he gets here, anyway."

"Worrying? Who's worrying? Not me."

"Honey, your hands are shaking, you haven't had your coffee today, you skipped class to come talk to ME, and your pants are on backwards. You are the epitome of worried."

"......The last part is Tony's fault."

"Uh huh, I bet."

"They used and abused me, then threw me in the trash like a...a..."

"A goopey condom?"

"Yeah a goopey con--.....Shut the fuck up."

"Hey, I'm just tryin to help YOU out man. No need to get bitchy."

"I don't even know why I bothered to talk to you in the first place, your brain obviously can't compartmentalize like us normal humans."

"HEY....You're not normal either. Now, sit your ass down and tell big brother who the fuck's spleen I gotta tear out through their ass and use as floss."

"....Psh, whatever. This isn't your fight. My so called 'friends' are just stupid assholes, I'll get over it."

"Nonononono, I'm getting the crew together and we're gonna go out and wreck some havoc!"

"The term you're looking for is reek..seriously. Don't get involved."

"Huh, funny you should say that now..."

"............You called Tony, didn't you?"

"Uhm..."

"DIDN'T YOU?!"

Somewhere in the house, the doorbell clanged.

"Oh, the doorbell, I wonder who that could be I'MMA GO ANSWER IT BYE!"

"BASTARD, GET BACK HERE! WE BOTH KNOW ITS YOUR STUPID FRIENDS! ARGH, DON'T GET INVOLVED, DAMMIT!"

"ITS A BIG BROTHERS DUTY, PIPE DOWN."

"Hehe, duty."

"Shut up, Cooper."

"So my teacher once said that you can't change unless you're in some real bad ass pain. Like, you jump over here only if your feet are on fire over there. I figure she could be right."

"You actually listened to your teacher? What the hell. I pictured you as that brat snoring away in the back of the class or something. Actually, I take that back. You were definitely the one snapping the bra straps of the girls in front of you."

"Dude, I know. But the thing is...she had a real nice set of hooters. Oh man. I had perfect attendance in that class. And she wore these low cut little shirts where you could see JUST enough to give you a boner for the rest of the hour."

"Okay, I officially don't want to hear any more of your school day conquests."

He's really, really not listening, too caught up in the memories. "Ahaha, this one time me and a buddy threw some chalk or something on the floor beside her and when she bent down, oh fuck. It was love at first sight."

".......I just vomited a little bit in my mouth."

"And that, my darling little bro, is how I realized my talents as a ladies man. Wanna hear about how I got to be a mans...whoa, hey, where're you going, man?! I wasn't done!"

"I have to go slam my head repeatedly in the car door. Come revive me when dinner's ready."

"But what about the time behind the school bleachers, when me and Cooper-"

"LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF MY BRAIN HEMORRHAGING!"

"You know what I'd do, to really fuckin lose control and shit? Just let loose, do whatever the fuck I want?"

"I have the feeling that even if I say no, you're going to tell me anyway."

Obviously the comment is ignored. "I'd strip. Light my clothes on fire. Beat the shit out of the people that piss me off the most. With a baseball bat and brass knuckles. Then I'd scream at the top of my lungs about...well, I don't really know. Stuff. And to finish it off I'd paint the town red. yup, that's what I'd do."

"You're a whole new level of stupid, you do realize this, right?"

A smirk. "I'd like to take this moment to thank religion for all my mental problems. Jesus really needs to take better care of himself after all that shit with the jews went down."

"Come over here and accept your trophy for biggest dumbass in the universe. It includes my fist colliding with your face."

Lol lol lol this is x_gh0st_x hijacking Liz's LJ. Except only a little. Since I had permission.

You see that header up there? I made that happen. *beams* And. You know. The fancy new layout. I installed that for her. Since she fails at all things html and I do not. (I still love her, though, it's okay.)

And hey Liz's friends! I don't know any of you, but helloooo. ♥~

-Zee

PS: Ahaha, I made her moodtheme work, too. I deserve some seriously delicious cookies.

Title: Appearances are decieving
Author: HotIceRed
Fandom: Dogs: Bullets and Carnage
Pairings: Heine/Badou
Rating: M for language and a nekkid Badou :) and uhm kissyface Heine..yeah
Summary: Death was always something Badou knew was coming. He just didn't realize it'd all end on top of his partner in mayhem, and with a raging hard on to boot
Notes: I’ve decided, that for this, I am definitely deserving of a spot in hell, reserved in advanced. Okay, now that that is out of the way,  we can move on. So, long time lurker/chicken shit, first time posting. This idea just struck me while stuck in the progress of something else, and it won’t really leave me alone. We’ll see how far I get with this. Uhm, if this royally sucks ass, break it to me gently, okay? I won’t cry too much. Oh, and I don’t own, Miwa Shirow does.
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THE TRAILER FOR THE DOGS MANGA IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay, i have a bad feeling that i'm the last to c it but...
IM EXCITED AS FUCK!!!!!! MY HANDS ARE LITERALLY SHAKING!!! [yes, i get excited for anime based on my fav manga]
on another note....
Badou is uber adorable. with his ciggie fetish...er obsession.
also since i'm having a bit of trouble posting to the dogs lj...i'll just quietly post it here....unless i figure this out...*ponders* i want to be the first one to say something....anywho. WOOT IT'LL BE HERE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i've been inspired by the flash forwards in the manga Nana  to do a few for SDK. but not their future. the future of their reincarnations. *nods* i'm pretty sure i just complicated the whole thing. at the moment i'm looking through the manga trying to pinpoint some dialog/scenes i can use to in turn write something in the future. related in a sense. IDK. you guys know how i get with all these ideas. they're all just jumbled in my head and stuffs. i don't know anymore, lol. i just feel obligated to write some SDK. i cant get these other 2 done and it's pissing me off. a lot. so to get myself unfrustrated i'm starting something new. or attempting to. that's probably not the greatest of plans, but i'm coming up with a blank in the idea/brain department. and i really wanna do something with the reincarnations (mostly cuz they make me laugh..) I got nothin'. got any advice for the mentally challenged *points to self* writer? if not, then meh, i'll figure it out eventually.

i have found something amazing people.

anime motivational posters. They're so freaking hilarious.  i've made like a million. i wanna post some of my SDK ones here, especially this one with Shinrei and Hotaru but idk how...

help??